IM TOTALLY A SERIOUS WRITER
by Jays Shadow
Summary: Dipper meets Pantskat on drugs in the woods and then things get weird. [best summary I r8 413/8]


**SORRY FOR WASTING MY TIME ON THIS INSTEAD OF WORKING ON STUFF I HAVEN'T TOUCHED IN MONTHS, BUT I JUST _HAD_ TO DO IT. I HAD TO.**

 **(ehehehehe)**

Dipper was lost. In a forest to be specific. He heard yelling earlier and hoped to find it's source, as it did _not_ sound like anything from around there. Maybe whoever it was would help him. Something snapped behind him. Dipper look quickly behind him, stumbling forwards a bit. He happened to stumble into something. Something loud, angry, and definitely _not_ human.

"WATCH IT FUCKASS!" it shouted. Dipper turned around, revealing it to have gray skin, black messy hair, candy-corn like things on it's head, pointy ears, and strangely enough, it was wearing it's pants up to it's neck.

"Who- wait- what?" he stuttered, staring at the creature.

"WHAT." it growled, glaring down at him with fiery yellow eyes.

"What _are_ you? And _who_ are you?"

"I'M A TROLL, DUMBASS AND MY NAME IS KARKAT."

Dipper ignored "Karkat's" language. Anyway, his voice sounded familiar…. Suddenly it clicked. This was the guys that was yelling earlier. _And I was hoping to get help._ Dipper thought bitterly. _Instead, I got this thing._

"WHAT ARE _YOU_ STARING AT?"

"You, I guess. You got kind of a uh, interesting style."

"BITCH PLEASE, I LOOK FABULOUS." Dipper winced. Karkat was really loud, all the time. And them pants. Dipper couldn't help but stare at how Karkat was wearing them. Seriously, nobody really wears pants like that. A loud calling in the distance alerted them both.

"(hey kid, hide me,)" Karkat whispered, jumping behind Dipper then crouching.

"Say what now-" Dipper was cut off when a boy with black hair and glasses in a blue windsock hoodie with some kind of symbol on it burst out of the bushes followed by a girl also with black hair and glasses and in a black dress with a white symbol and white dog ears and a matching tail.

"There he is John!" the girl shouted tho the boy in blue. Karkat jumped, his hair bristling like an animal's.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE FUCKERS!" Karkat shouted, running off.

"KK get your nubby a22 horn2 over here!" someone else yelled, climbing from the bushes. Another troll with four horns, the same black hair and gray skin, only he wasn't wearing his pants like Karkat and his shirt had a yellow symbol and he had red and blue glasses. Others had followed after him chattering like birds. Dipper on the other hand, had absolutely no idea what the heck was going on. The dog girl broke away from the crowd and chased after Karkat. She was glowing green and had green sparks dancing around her. She suddenly appearified in front of Karkat. Karkat skidded to a halt and quickly turned around

"Karkat you fuckass get back here!" she barked, racing after him.

"NO! I DO WHAT I WANT BITCHES!" Karkat screamed, pulling a hand out of his pants to flip the others off. He did a majestic fucking pirouette off a rock and then started to run off again, hitting a tree face-first. "SCREEE!" he screeched, falling on the ground and then writhing like a worm.

Meanwhile, Dipper stared on, his eye twitching. These people -and trolls- are crazy! Back to what was going on, the dog girl had pounced on Karkat.

"Got him!" she said, holding down a struggling Karkat

"Okay, before something else really weird and random happens, what the heck is going on here?" Dipper asked. Everyone shrugged.

"We reeeeeeeeally don't know what's going on with Karkat," a troll girl in gold clothes with a sun-looking thingy on her shirt and miss-match horns said. Dipper glanced at Karkat, who was currently face-down on the ground with the dog girl sitting on him.

"Yeeaahhhhh I'm leaving now BYE!" Dipper waved and walked away quickly. He didn't want to stay to find out what happened next. One thing to never talk about or mention ever. Miraculously, he found the Mystery Shack. He walked inside, giving a huge sigh of relief. No more weird trolls and magic dog girls.

"So what'd you find?" Mabel asked, bouncing up Dipper.

"Just, weird stuff. Weird stuff."

 **AHAHAHA this went differently from what I expected to do...**


End file.
